Memo: Maintaining a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t change your voice.

2. Sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing vehicles. See if they slow down.

3. Every time someone asks you for something, ask if they want fries with it.

4. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone is over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.

5. In the MEMO field on all your check write: “for marijuana.”

6. Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.

7. With a serious face, order a diet water wherever you eat.

8. At your fast food drive through, specify your order is “to go.”

9. Sing along at the opera.

10. When money comes out of the ATM, scream, “I won! I won!”

11. When leaving the Zoo, start running toward the parking lot yelling, “Run for your lives. There loose!”

12. Tell your children over dinner, “Due to the poor economy, we’re going to have to let one of you go.”