When Over-50 Christian Women Join eHarmony ~ seasoned Christians crush it

img_2160I first joined eHarmony in New York when my husband was spending most of his time with his girlfriend. I charged a year’s subscription to his credit card. I was then living in Brooklyn, NY and knew I’d be moving to north eastern Florida. So, I asked for “matches” (that’s what they call it) who lived in Florida. It was safe because of the long distance. In an entire year, I got one nibble. Still, I amused myself reading the profiles of men in Florida looking for women to be their special something.

So, my eHarmony subscription expired and I didn’t renew. I was in the middle of packing boxes and moving to Florida with a small dog and three cats. I’d no sooner gotten settled in Florida and unpacked, when I got an offer from eHarmony that was too good to refuse. [Somebody who works there has to have been born and raised in Brooklyn.]  I had a full life in Florida, was a member  a great church and of a group that had nothing to do with dating or single life. But the price was right and I signed up again for three months.

This time I was way more picky. And I soon discovered that men who considered themselves to be “Christian” simply meant their parents and grandparents were Christian. It was a family thing, like a box he checked of on the census. To be fair, some of these men sounded really interesting though none of them shared my grace-oriented Christianity beliefs. I’d venture a guess that most of them didn’t own a Bible. There were a few (thankfully, very few) who were looking for well endowed women. I wanted to message them saying, “You’re no kind of Christian.” I did manage to restrain myself. I guess after filling out an exhaustive Q&A personality questionnaire, I expected more from eHarmony. Most of the men (truly Christian or not) didn’t bother to answer any questions. I suspect women on eHarmony fill out the questions, but not so much the men. So, how can women tell what the men are all about? Unless you have true discernment, it’s a crap shoot.

My subscription will expire in another month. It’s been an interesting experience, though not fruitful in the sense of what the company offers. I will not renew again no matter how good the financial offer. I have a friend who met her second husband through Match.com. So I do know God can and does move through online dating. And I do have to note that according to Barna research, there’s a higher rate of divorce among Christians than non-believers. So, quite a few Christian women should be aware of online dating…and not everyone will have my experience,

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About NikeChillemi

Nike Chillemi has been called a crime fictionista due to her passion for crime fiction. She writes literature that reads like pulp fiction. She likes her bad guys really bad, and her good guys smarter and better. She is the founder and chair of the Grace Awards, a member of ACFW. She has judged numerous literary awards including the Grace Awards, Carol Awards, Inspy Awards, and the Eric Hoffer Awards. View all posts by NikeChillemi

8 responses to “When Over-50 Christian Women Join eHarmony ~ seasoned Christians crush it

  • blueribbonfair

    Probably safer to find a good Christian man on a secular dating site. I have known so many stories of predators Praying on Christian woman because they are very trusting, loving, kind, giving and at times naive to how evil humans can be who do not think like true Christians.Some go on there because they do believe they are actually a “Christian” because of the things you listed, but their is also probably and element that are accomplished liars. One thing good about them on the site, is if you are Scriptural saved by Trust individually in Jesus Christ by Grace, you can spot them better since with discernment- as you had- by their words you know there is something not quite “real” about their profession.Thanks for the “heads up” witht the site. I have heard a few other not good things about it prior. Sad.

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    • NikeChillemi

      Karen, I think part of going on any online dating site is being aware of accomplished liars. I think they also join singles groups. This is part of the negative side. I expected a few predators and think a spotted a small number. eHarmony does help to weed them out by having a host of questions to answer, but they’re not mandatory. Still, if they don’t answer questions or give a full profile that’s a clue. Women do have to be aware. More startling is how many men think Christian is a label like “cultural heritage.” They honestly don’t have a clue it’s really a deep belief system, a walk with the Lord. Some of them are nice, intelligent, good looking, and not right for a Bible believing Christian woman.

      Liked by 1 person

  • Jonathan Caswell

    Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
    I DON’T NEED THIS YET..NOT SURE I WOULD, IF I SURVIVE THE MISSUS. BUT SOMEONE OUT THERE…!

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  • Jonathan Caswell

    AREN’T MANY MEN JUST A PAIN…EVEN THE GOOD ONES? 🙂 THANKS FOR THIS VERY INFORMATIVE POST AND SHARING YOUR EXPERIENCES!

    Liked by 1 person

    • NikeChillemi

      Most of the eHarmony men who say they’re Christian don’t have a clue what we mean by Christian. There are few biblical Christian men on eHarmony. That’s my experience. Christian seems to be a box they check off like you would on the census. It’s not a statement of deeply held religious convictions to most of them, from what I can see.

      It could be true with women too. There might not be many biblical Christian women on the site either.

      Liked by 1 person

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