When the ‘Strong Ones’ Come to the End of Self ~ and let Jesus take over

Wonder Woman Doll

I think often its Christians who see themselves as the ‘strong ones’ who have the biggest problem surrendering totally to Jesus, and I include myself in that group. It’s not that we don’t believe, we do. It’s not that we don’t honor Him, we do. It’s not that we don’t see Him as Savior and Lord, we do. It’s that we have a human history of taking care of everyone’s mess that gets in the way of us giving it all to Him.

Here we are saved, in some cases saved for years, and the mess around us is getting worse and worse. Family members not only are not saved, they’ve had numerous sexual partners, are having abortions, getting arrested, drinking excessively or taking drugs. Our spouse just asked for a divorce. We have aging parents with encroaching dementia and since we’ve always been the ‘strong one’, the siblings have abdicated all responsibility…and we’re now at the point where our knees are bending under the weight. Or, we support not only ourselves, but also an out-of-work sibling and now we’ve had a job loss and the fear the bank will soon foreclose.

The so-called ‘strong ones’ have been running from pillar-to-post picking up the pieces, holding it all together, but now, after years of this, are literally shaking apart. We might even be developing mental health symptoms. We think, how can that be? I’ve been saved for years. As we sink to our knees in utter defeat, I kinda think God says, “Finally, you’re handing it to Me. I couldn’t do anything with what you were holding on to.”

I think sometimes we have a secret sin (missing the mark), which involves shame…shame for things we could not control. We could not control our mother’s or sister’s or daughter’s promiscuity. We could not handle, heal, or successfully hide our father’s, brother’s, son’s alcoholism or drug abuse. We could not have prevented our own sexual abuse as a child. Yet we are dying inside from shame. Literally dying. We developed agoraphobia, obsessive-compulsive disorder. Some of us have cleaned and recleaned our homes until they sparkle. We’ve literally been on the verge of losing our minds. But how could that be when we are saved? And not only saved, we’ve always been the ‘strong ones’.

And Jesus says, “I’ve been waiting for you to hand it all to Me. My yoke is easy and my burden is light.” When we come to the end of our own strength and admit we do not in fact have the stamina or the wherewithal to fix everything, we can finally surrender to Him and begin to heal.

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About NikeChillemi

Nike Chillemi has been called a crime fictionista due to her passion for crime fiction. She writes literature that reads like pulp fiction. She likes her bad guys really bad, and her good guys smarter and better. She is the founder and chair of the Grace Awards, a member of ACFW. She has judged numerous literary awards including the Grace Awards, Carol Awards, Inspy Awards, and the Eric Hoffer Awards. View all posts by NikeChillemi

6 responses to “When the ‘Strong Ones’ Come to the End of Self ~ and let Jesus take over

  • P. T. Bradley

    I’m one of those Christians who finds it hard to let go and let God. I’ve always been the one everyone came to so I could “fix” things. I think it takes coming to the end of your rope to understand that God wants us to depend on Him.

    Great post!

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    • NikeChillemi

      PT, It’s also part of our spiritual growth to let Him have it. We don’t want to see the ones we love hurt. That’s how God feels about us. We do have to let God take care of them. They also have to learn to go to God. 🙂 🙂 Sigh

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  • Kathleen Maher

    Amen. Amen. *deep breath and exhale* Amen.

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  • kerouser

    Nike, it took a lot for me to realize God does give us more than we can handle, so that we cry out to Him and lean on Him. He wants us close to Him and to know how much we need Him. It’s so much better when we cling to Him instead of the problem. Still, I am a work in progress and forget this sometimes. Great post!

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    • NikeChillemi

      Kathleen, I still have to remind myself, “God’s got this. He really does. Doesn’t need my help.” I can fall into a trap when loved ones who are not saved and/or do not want to hear about God try to make me feel they “need” my help, or need me to “fix it”. That’s a hard one because I don’t want them to feel I’ve abandoned them. Yet, I must listen if God is saying to step away. Sometimes He’s had to shout, “Step away.” He’s even had to skin my knees a few times to get me to step away. He has a plan for my loved ones and friends who do not know Him. He doesn’t need my plan.

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