Making it Through Mother’s Day Can be Difficult for Crime Victims

Cemetery

Our news reports are filled with stories of mass shootings, kidnap and the vilest rape imaginable. I can’t help wondering, with great pain in my heart, how the surviving victims of these awful crimes can face Mother’s Day. How can the survivors?

Although recent statistics show, amazingly, that violent crime and homicides are actually decreasing and are at a five-year low, those stats are cold comfort to those who have suffered at the hands of a violent criminal.

As the justice system swings into gear and punishes the criminal, we think, well that ought to bring the survivors some relief. Often it does not. In today’s world, if the crime is ratings worthy, the media will replay the footage over and over. This can often make things emotionally more difficult for survivors.

On holidays and especially on Mother’s Day, victims may experience feelings of extreme loss. The more recent the crime, survivors may experience anger, rage, or even numbness, shock, and confusion. These feelings are not normally associated with Mother’s Day, but they are exceedingly normal to victims of violent crimes. If we know an individual who is a victim of a violent crime, we must allow them the freedom to authentically feel what they truly feel on this emotionally charged day. That is not to say we can’t try to bring some warmth and love into the day. We should do that. Sometimes what is helpful is simply helping victims maintain a normal day-to-day routine. Maintaining the mundane can offer some relief and calm fears. So, it might be more appropriate not to make such a big deal out of Mother’s Day, but rather to just be there as a loved one or friend on this particular holiday and simply to assist in maintaining a sense of normalcy.

The Christian response is always to pray. Indeed, do pray for the crime victim and even for the perpetrator. Pray that the crime victim will one day be able to forgive. Forgiveness brings great release. As Christians we want to let the precious ones who have been the victims of crime know of the great healing and peace of Christ, but pushing this on the person who has experienced a horrific crime will probably not be at all helpful and may be extremely hurtful. The best thing for Christians to do is let the crime  victim see Christ through our loving attitude and actions. And of course, pray, pray, pray.

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About NikeChillemi

Nike Chillemi has been called a crime fictionista due to her passion for crime fiction. She writes literature that reads like pulp fiction. She likes her bad guys really bad, and her good guys smarter and better. She is the founder and chair of the Grace Awards, a member of ACFW. She has judged numerous literary awards including the Grace Awards, Carol Awards, Inspy Awards, and the Eric Hoffer Awards. View all posts by NikeChillemi

9 responses to “Making it Through Mother’s Day Can be Difficult for Crime Victims

  • Carole Brown

    How true, Nike! Great post.

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    • NikeChillemi

      Carole, I think we have to be sensitive to those who have a hard time with Mother’s Day. Victims of crime are special to me. I’ve made so many of my heroes and heroines crusaders to avenge the victims.

      Like

  • walnuttable

    Well said Nike. You are absolutely right in remembering the victims in today’s medias. Good thoughts on your blog post. Thank you for sharing.

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  • Robyn Engel

    Thank you for this message. Mother’s Day is painful for me because I watched my mother die of cancer, and because I’m not a mom but always wanted to be. Others have much more horrifying pain to sift through, especially this weekend. It’s a good reminder to a generally ego-centered world.

    PS I found you through our bloggy group. Glad I did.

    Cheers.

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    • NikeChillemi

      Robyn, I’m so glad you left a comment. And let me wish you a Happy Mother’s Day because everyone mothers somebody. I’ve even wished a few guys a Happy Mother’s Day and I usually get a weird look. LOL But if we all comfort each other, and laugh with each other, and bear each other’s burdens, it all becomes so much lighter.

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  • Elaine Marie Cooper

    Great post, Nike. I appreciate your sensitive spirit.

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    • NikeChillemi

      Elaine, I have a burden in my heart for crime victims. This burden have evolved as I write murder mysteries. So many of my main characters are passionate about avenging the victim and bringing the perpetrator to justice. But beyond that has to be forgiveness and love. Not even murder can defeat God’s love.

      Like

  • Darlene Franklin

    Thanks for sharing this with me, Nike.

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